


My Mardy Bum

by Altavista



Category: AM - Fandom, Alex Turner - Fandom, Arctic Monkeys, Real Person Fiction
Genre: Break Up, Drabble, Drama, Drama & Romance, Established Relationship, F/M, One Shot, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-21
Updated: 2019-04-21
Packaged: 2020-01-23 13:40:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18550906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Altavista/pseuds/Altavista
Summary: Do you know those days when you do nothing on purpose but the unpleasant things happen anyway?Those are just days when you find yourself standing in front of the door of your beloved one coming up with the perfect excuses why you are late. And when you finally make up some, the realisation hits you and you know everything is in vain. She is a Mardy Bum and you are definitely in trouble.





	My Mardy Bum

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Arctic Monkeys fandom](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Arctic+Monkeys+fandom).



Do you know those days when you do nothing on purpose but the unpleasant things happen anyway?  
Those are just days when you find yourself standing in front of the door of your beloved one coming up with the perfect excuses why you are late. And when you finally make up some, the realisation hits you and you know everything is in vain. She is a Mardy Bum and you are definitely in trouble.

***

The patterns on the wooden door were running in deep circles from the floor and way up to the peephole as I was standing in front of it with a hesitation to come in. I had promised you to come in time for dinner with your friends but was an hour late because of my unpardonable forgetfulness.

It wasn't like I didn't want to come. I actually marked this day with a red pencil on my calender and asked Matt to remind me to come from the studio earlier. The only problem is that I never look at my calendar and Matt has a very bad memory. Perhaps, there was no actual scenario where I could come in time. Maybe, I really didn't want to?

You will be angry finding out that I was working on the new song and lost a sense of time. I know, you will be angry at me anyway, so talking about it isn't necessary. Perhaps, I'll tell you someday.

I made up a few excuses instead, what about that? You believe them more than you believe me and I developed a habit of keeping two or three of those in the pocket of my jacket. That's the one bitter thing about our relationship and sometimes I think that one day I'll run out of ideas for lying.

I feel like a coward not having a courage to come in but I know what you'll say. I know everything, even the smallest details and you have no idea how well I am aware of the glance you have in this exact minute when you are impatiently waiting for me.

So, I put my fingers on the doorbell in a silent hope you'll answer. The long waiting puts a knowing smile on my face and I unlock the door with my keys. You know perfectly it's me and you do everything to show me that I have problems. Well, I always do, you know?

I come in quietly and don't bother to take my boots off because it is the thing about anticipation: no need to take care of the details. I just throw my keys on the table and make my way to the kitchen sighing heavily, knowing exactly what is waiting for me.

You are standing with your back facing me and your hair is shimmering on the last light of the day. I wonder if it is the last sunset we have together or you'll give me a chance to pretend I can handle with it. Darling, you'd better not to.

I sigh unwittingly with a heavy breath feeling that the silence is only the stop before the explosion and there is no way I can avoid it. I lean on the door frame lazily and think about at least four hundred adjectives I could use for describing your silent anger until you turn around and face me.

I see the frown on your face immediately and it reminds me of the barrel of gun that will go off. Oh, it goes off the very minute your glance lends on the clock on the wall which reminds you why you are angry. Something between a laugh and a sigh is building up in my chest and I try desperately not to show it.

'Where were you, Alex?' your face colours with anger and your voice is no longer yours. The argument hides your better side, the side I much prefer and I lose myself in the memories of last summer.

'I'm sorry for being late. I just thought I had a plenty of time before dinner and then I had none' I mutter apologising and you don't buy it as I expected. We have to go through the prelude before the actual shouting and that makes me sick because I already know the scenario.

'I've told you million times that it's very important for me and now you act like it's totally OK to come like this and tell me that you forgot about it' you fix your soft hair in a brief move annoyed with a sight of me and I definitely feel guilty.

'No, I don't say it's OK' I answer tiredly. 'I say I didn't do it on purpose' I take a step forward to be closer to you and regret it the next minute when I see how furious you really are with the saturated hazelnut eyes.

Your cheeks are burning with anger and my fingers are probably twitching in a sudden urge to cup your face and stop it. The only thing is that you wouldn't let me.

'You are always like this' you throw the phrase at my face and I stiffen because of the harsh overtones in your voice.

'You are overreacting. It's not like I was with other girl or something like that' I try to joke but it happens to be the worst I've ever thought of. You look at me disapprovingly with your "disappointment face" that I can't bear.

'That's not even a joke' you say and I feel a sudden urge to disappear from the kitchen and another argument. You know, I wrote a song for you today but I bet that you don't even care.

'Oh, come on, come here' I try to reassure you with a smile and grab your hand in a tender gesture. I expect you to lean to me but you don't even move. 'Darling, why can't we just stop the argument and laugh or joke around? Remember cuddles in the kitchen to get things off the ground?' I give you my best loving face hoping the memory to wake up something nice in you.

My chest warms up with the image of us last summer in this exact kitchen spinning in my head. Your funny face and an endless laugh, hundreds of stolen kisses and playful behaviour. Today it seems so long since you have had a smile on your lips that I can't look at them without waiting for it.

'Why can't we?' you start amused and quiet dropping my hand. 'Because you just want to have fun and not to think about anything!' almost a shout and I am almost accustomed to it. 'Life is not like that. You have obligations, promises. And you promised me to come!' your lips are dry and voice is full of furious anger. I feel something more than guiltiness and your eyes are on mine intensely.

'I know, darling, I know' I say with a desperate tone. I hope for your clemency but today you don't have it planned. 'I didn't want it to be like that. Ask you friends to come tomorrow and I'll definitely will be here' I am not sure why I am trying to reassure you 'cause we both know it won't help. Your face has million shades of anger and I know for sure that because of this detail and your floral dress you could be pictured by any artist.

'There won't be any "tomorrow"!' you snap and I can't handle the tension you've created. The kitchen is rather small and it makes me think that it has a room for only one person. 'You fucked up, Alex, this time you fucked up!' finally you shout at me and that's the point where I can't keep listening.

'Okay!' I answer back loudly letting my lungs to free the air they held and you are surprised to see my reaction. 'I'm sorry, I was late. I missed the train and then the traffic was a state' I lie to you breathless and it seems like it is my worst excuse. You look at me from under your eyelashes resentful not even listening, not even trying to listen and now I feel angry too. 'You know, I can't be arsed to carry on in this debate. It reoccurs' I turn around to go away and finish this before we could ruin everything.

'Of course. You don't care, you just simply don't care' I hear you say to my back and something breaks inside me. I stop and sigh heavily facing you again. Your eyes are blind with anger.

'No, dear, of course I do!' I almost beg you to believe me. 'I clearly do!' my voice breaks and I give you a pleading look somehow ashamed by showing my desperation. I am vulnerable in front of your glance but my words have no effect on you.

'No, Alex, you actually don't' your voice is quiet and bitter. I'd rather you screamed but didn't look so disappointed. That kills my only hope to change your mind today and it feels like this sunset is the last we have.

You turn away from me again and I study your posture. Maybe, it's a sign to leave but I feel like today we can't end it like a usual banter. I am tired and I know you are tired as well.

'So, you want us to end this?' I whisper making a few steps closer to you. A smile is hiding in my lips because I know that it's not what you expected. You flinch and I see that I made a right move. Just like every time I still can see the possibility of working this out. Or maybe, it's just a habit.

'End...' you whisper back not looking at me. I understand, you hesitate and I feel something in my chest tighten. It feels like in a moment we can just laugh and joke around but this time something is wrong. 'You wanted it to end from the very beginning?' you raise your milk chocolate eyes at me with sadness but I still see the anger.

'No' I say and it's sincere, believe me. 'It's just...' I sigh again not sure what to answer. 'It's just I'll never come in time and you'll never stop waiting for me near the window with a furious look on your face, won't you?' I let myself a weakness to stand very close to you. 'And we'll never come back to those times we had so much fun together. It will remain here, in this kitchen' I swallow and your cheeks are still pink from shouting. 'So maybe, we have to leave it here?'

'Leave?' you ask me and I see a look of disbelief on your face. Arguing was always fun but dealing with the consequences has never been our cup of tea. 'You can't do this to me!' you burst out and I know that it's mostly because you can't find any other words to say. 'You are supposed to feel bad, not me!' you look at me furious and I can't keep the bitter feeling inside me. You don't understand what I'm trying to say. Or you don't want to.

'Yeah, it was always a game when I was guilty and you were angry' I sigh quietly and we seem so different on the background of our mixed emotions. 'But it doesn't work anymore...' I raise my glance to look into your eyes and for the last time I see them sparkling on the honey sweet sun of the evening. I know that our colour is caramel today but the conversation leaves no chance for sweetness.

'Go away' you say confidently and I know that it's a high time to leave you. I look at my shoes and notice that the light of the sun reached them too.

'We could talk and you would understand me...' I begin but your strong glance makes me speechless and I swallow the words. Okay, that's how you like it.

I turn around and feel your scent. It envelops me and spins my head but it's something I got used to. Chocolate with milk and a red rose. Have you even worn the perfume or it's always been just you?

I don't want to see your eyes again so I make my way to the door and take the keys from where I left them. It's a strange detail now that there was no need to take off my shoes.

I go down leaving all the thoughts and stairs behind me and breath the air as much as I can when I leave the building. The sky is pink and clear above my head and it feels so unfamiliar. Is this the end?

'Alex!' I hear you calling my name and raise my head to see you standing on a balcony in your floral dress fluttering on the wind. There is a fear in my chest that you might persuade me to change my decision.

'Yes?' I answer.

'I've always been a Mardy Bum, have I?' you ask softly and the sudden change catches me off guard. Your eyes are caramel now too and I know that it's just a minute flashback from the last summer. We won't be like that anymore.

'Yes, you've been' I smile at you with a small nod. We've both known about this moment since the day we've met. I just couldn't imagine that the evening sky would be of a strawberry ice cream colour. 'But the main thing is that you were my Mardy Bum. And that what really mattered'.

The smile on your face widens and you nod at me too. You being a Mardy Bum is not the reason, it's a nice title for a story like that. It's just we both know that nothing lasts and we are no exception. So when the next evening I see your curtains closed, I don't feel bad anymore and I know that you are standing near the window. Standing and looking at the evening caramel sun but for the first time in forever not waiting there for me.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, so, I was brave enough to write a one part story for you. I've never written a song fic before because every person sees every song in a different light and it's hard to make people like it.
> 
> My view of the "Mardy Bum" by Arctic Monkeys is very subjective and I bet that you imagined the song in a different way. I would never write this if there wasn't a reason for it.
> 
> On the 13th of March 2019 I woke up with the words from "Mardy Bum" on my lips, listened to it 5 times while I was getting ready for school, missed the first class because of it and ruined my math notebook with lyrics of this song. So, when I came home, I knew that I had to write it no matter what.
> 
> Now I'm just hoping that you will enjoy it so please, tell me what you think. I'm kind of anxious because of this one. Thanks a lot for supporting me with my "Not interested" fic. It's coming soon too. I love you all:3


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